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Halle Stanford's avatar

I’m not ready to chose the word yet but wanted to send you a note that I LOVE this post. I also share your love of the community of support in Shrinking 2. The combination of Brett Goldstein’s Hope punk writing, and Apple TV challenging us as producers to aspire to be change makers, is so refreshing! I’ll keep you posted on my word.

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Sabrina Moyle's avatar

Aw, thank you SO much Halle! I love this, and I love to hear about Apple TV's mission-based focus with their programming. They are crushing it, and there is so much opportunity here for cultural change via storytelling and humor. Can't wait to hear your word!

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Amy Clay's avatar

I absolutely LOVE this Sabrina!! Friendship does look different as adults - and as parents in the "sandwich years" of life. I like what you said that we can be a lighthouse and not a caregiver. I will be thinking of my word - thank you friend :)

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Sabrina Moyle's avatar

So happy to hear! Thanks for reminding me of the “sandwich generation” piece of the puzzle! That has definitely been a major and meaningful source of connection with friends lately. We’ve helped each other through being adult children of aging parents logistically, emotionally, spiritually, and creatively (thinking of you and your beautiful music! ❤️). Next up: bonding over joint pain, insomnia, staying regular, and family genealogy! All of it is better with friends! 🤣

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Kyra's avatar

Love what you said about friendship here. It was a big theme for me this year too. I read somewhere that friends are people who share each other’s hopes and each other’s sorrows. It felt like such a deep yet simple way to define being a friend to someone. Especially amongst all the time constraints and complications being a busy parent.

And we seem to be on the same wavelength because self confidence is something that I’ve been thinking about this year too. I’ve noticed that the most genuinely self confident people seem to all be extremely self-possessed. Just this idea of owning all the parts of you, and being intentional about what you do with them and where you take them. Been struggling to birth a post about this for a while, but it’s encouraging to see it’s something you’re thinking about too 🙏🏻

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Sabrina Moyle's avatar

Yes, I think being willing to share in both the hopes and the sorrows is so important. I noticed that as my paths diverged with old friends, and as life events — happy and tragic — occurred, and particularly with the urge to compare parenting styles or children, my friends and I drifted apart for a time. I found myself subtly judging those less fortunate, and grasping at those who seemed to have more. Being present for the whole spectrum of my friends’ lives, and have self-compassion and humility about my own, was been key to my deepening friendships in the past year. Also key to this was not enmeshing myself in their lives — being a light house, not a caretaker.

It takes confidence to be a good friend, and confidence to put oneself out there through writing without attachment. Luckily, we have a wonderfully supportive community here on Substack. People who understand that writing is about exploring life, connecting, and meaning-making, and not about status or influence. I love it and look forward to continuing on the confidence-building journey with you!

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Kyra's avatar

Yeah I totally get what you mean. Not being enmeshed is an extra challenge for us women lol but yes definitely goes back to that idea of solidly possessing yourself. With that, the boundaries become much more clear and it’s not as scary to put yourself out there either. It’s been a great experience plugging into this substack community, and finding and connecting with so many impressive women 🙏🏻 definitely inspires me going forward

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Sabrina Moyle's avatar

Haha, yes! Agree about the Substack community - it's a great place to cleanly and authentically connect!

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Anne Zimmerman's avatar

This got me thinking about friendship in a whole new way. Particularly love this: "in so many ways, being a good friend is our highest calling as humans, alongside being a good parent. It allows us to practice all of the values we hold dear, like kindness, acceptance, generosity, listening, humor, and patience."

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Sabrina Moyle's avatar

So happy to hear! Friendship is something that I don’t think we talk about a lot as adults - we are so busy adulting with jobs, spouses, kids, etc. - but it is no less valuable than it was when we were young, and a wonderful forum for being ourselves.

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Laurel Emory's avatar

I love your intentionality around friendship and your a-has! I too have loved how Shrinking has portrayed friendship. My 2024 word was 'wonder' - it helped me to create a flower garden and live in my senses more. You'll see my 2025 word when you get my new year's card. ;)

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Sabrina Moyle's avatar

Ooh, I love that! What a wonder-ful word to choose! I can totally see how it could stimulate so much growth and learning (approaching change and acquiring new skills from a place of wonder rather than anxiety, for example), and invite you to be receptive through all your senses, since wonder and awe start with the miracle of just being alive. Looking forward to the great reveal of your 2025 word in your card!

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Irena Smith's avatar

LOVED this so much. I've been thinking a lot about the gift of friendship, and this is a beautiful, timely reminder. Also, Shrinking (seasons 1 AND 2) is SO. GOOD.

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Sabrina Moyle's avatar

So glad to hear! There is truly nothing better! The friendship between Andy and Red in The Shawshank Redemption is also one of my favorites. “Get busy living, or get busy dying,” Red says, as he takes up Andy’s challenge to join him in Zihuatanejo…

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Petrea's avatar

Mine is self-compassion. I wish I had read your post before choosing it because I feel like it is the one I need to work on, not the one I am most excited about! But it was the first which came to mind.

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Sabrina Moyle's avatar

That’s a great one! Perhaps the act of practicing self-compassion will allow you to become more excited about it? In my experience, there’s always grief and discomfort in realizing you have a habit of not being kind to yourself, but on the other side of it is relief and ease! I hope the year brings you all you need! ❤️

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